As specific dates come nearer–like submission date, publication date, forgot-to-buy-my-brother-in-law-a Christmas-present date–writers can get a little clingy. And editors are there to talk them down off the ledge. Or maybe drive them over it.
Me: The beta readers are trying to kill me.
Editor: All the best ones do.
Me: Hahaha. I’m worried, after all the hype, that I’ll get their notes back and I’ll be all, “OMG, I suck!”
Me: And the Christmas story isn’t co-operating. Maybe it was too big a change in mood?*
Editor: You’re a writer. Writers do that. And then their editors remind them that they’re wrong.
Editor: Could write a Christmas cannibal drabble to bridge the gap.
*The change in mood is from Flesh Market, which is dark and violent, to a Christmas stripper getting snowbound with a slightly innocent client on Christmas Day.
Me: The tomcat brought me a mouse the other day and followed me around the house with it, mewing and dropping it at my feet, then looking at me expectantly. It was a fat one too–I felt bad throwing it out
Editor: You made appropriate thank-you-good-kitty noises and pretended to eat it, right?
Me: Ewwww, no. I did say thank you, but I think he was disappointed.
Editor: If I killed and brought you a gift and you weren’t sufficiently impressed, I’d be disappointed too. *sniff*
And this is why I no longer have a phobia about editors. 🙂
I should copy over the stoned blowjob conversation for you some day.
Me: I was considering slipping by the humane society, since the kid wants a rabbit. I’m not sure I want a rabbit, but she’s been asking for a while now. Of course, she also wants a dog. (I might as well build an Ark)
Editor: Er, a rabbit might be slightly less trouble. And quieter
Me:With my luck, she’ll still want the dog next year too.
Editor: Compromise: a rabbit that barks.
Me: I don’t agree with GMO’s 😛
Editor: Picky. *sigh* Wererabbit? Waaaaaaait, OMG — your weres are ALL GMOs! I mean, technically speaking. This amuses me far too much.
Me: DON’T. START.
Editor: I can so see a certain witch flinging a snipe about GMOs.
Me: Oh, crap. That’s all I need, Glyn getting on an anti-GMO kick.
Me: Jeepers, I just realized that the post-apocalyptic military gryphon shifter story is a GMO story. *bangs head on desk*
Editor: You’re welcome.
Addendum: We went to the humane society. We looked at the dogs. And the cats. And the bunnies. And the funny thing was that I was the one who wanted to take home both a bunny and a cat.
Me: My mother is coming to visit the end of the week. So if you get a really big UPS parcel, open it quick. I’m a little claustrophobic.
Editor: I’ll keep an eye out. Make sure you make enough air holes for yourself.
Always looking out for me…
This occurred during a conversation where I was apologizing again, because Bite Me is still growing.
Editor: I’m gonna end up with another 96k book to match hers (another of her authors), aren’t I? I always forget you have ones that age!
Me: Yes, yes you are. Sorry. #notsorry Once we have the whole thing to look at, we can see if there’s any pruning.
Editor: Meh. If it needs to be 96k, it needs to be 96k.
Me: Thank you for saying that. I really do get hung up on length. *coughs*
Editor: HAH! Hey, so long as the length is put to good use & isn’t limp, I’m all for it.
I do seem to have a lot of these…
Me: sends (amusing) snippet of Work In Progress to tease editor
Editor: You realize that every time you send me stuff like this, I have complete mental images of you snickering madly and talking to yourself while camped out in your office.
Me: Umm, did you have a camera installed in my office?
Editor: Editor: all-knowing
Needless to say, I get undressed in the dark now. Just in case.